my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
