Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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