plz talk dirty to me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
