so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
