She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
