Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize