mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
