Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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