Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
