I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
