kristin has been a bad kristin
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize