Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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