This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
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Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
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Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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