Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
