It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize