she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
