Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I cut my penus on the lid.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
