Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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