that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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