you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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