I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i barfeds in our rink
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
