Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
