watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
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Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
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how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
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