even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
