i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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