It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize