Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
