are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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