I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I see more hoeing in ur future
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