We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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