haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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