I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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