She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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