He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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