It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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