called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
