She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
