It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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