Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
