Hey man sorry I got all grabby
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
