I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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