opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
