Need sex. Gaining weight.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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