I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
