That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
