I could have mohawked her pubes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
