um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
