Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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