Plan B is the new Plan A
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.