Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Two words: nipple clamps
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