I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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