ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
