Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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