he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Enjoy the penises
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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