Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
There's even glitter on my cock...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
