I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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