I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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