theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize