Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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