idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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